Some Insight Into The Male Psyche . . . . .

What Men Think During (And After) One-Night Stands

Stage One: Anticipation
Men anticipate one-night stands almost constantly. If we go to a library to check out a book, our minds envision various scenarios in which a one-night stand with the kindly 76-year-old librarian would be possible.

When an actual one-night stand starts to happen though, we’re like dogs taking a car ride—all sense flies out the window, and instead of acting like the calm, suave figures of our imaginations, we begin salivating and panting while running in circles.

Stage Two: Fear
Once the act has started, fear sets in, mainly fear that we won’t be any good in bed. As soon as this fear begins, though, it gets dismissed. Hey, it’s a one-night stand! Who cares if we’re terrible?

Of course, we’ve still got to fear things, like pregnancy or STDs, so a responsible guy will always use a condom, even if the only one he can find is from a bar bathroom, about three sizes too small and printed with tiger stripes.

Stage Three: Shame
Usually a few seconds after orgasmic bliss, there’s some shame. Maybe not much, depending on the situation. Guys will feel a little ashamed if the whole experience lasted under a minute (good sex should last AT LEAST 2 minutes). They’ll also be ashamed of their Spider-Man sheets if they’re at home, or with the quality of the hotel if there’s no roof. It is important to point out that men are rarely ashamed of the woman they’ve slept with, unless they’re actually related to her.

Stage Four: Bragging
After a one-night stand is over, and usually after a few days have passed, guys will often go right into bragging mode. Convincing women to sleep with us is certainly reason for excessive pride, so dudes will talk to friends, brothers, internet forums, and occasionally take out small billboards to proclaim to the world that they’ve had sex.

(TheFrisky)