I Don't Quite Understand The List But Whatever . . . . .

Top 20 Things Chinese Citizens Can’t Do

1. Sneezing while making a profit.

2. Mentioning the Dalai Lama without making a face like you just ate something gross.

3. Having an orgasm without shouting “I did this in honor of the People’s Republic!”

4. Walking by a bald eagle without making fun of it.

5. Using the words “People” “Republic” or “China” in any sentence with a sarcastic tone.

6. No extrapolating after 10 pm.

7. Marrying someone whose last name rhymes with your last name.

8. Mentioning how badly “The Spy Next Door” is doing at the box office.

9. Confusing Jet Li with Jackie Chan.

10. Preferring Vanilla to Chocolate.

11. Confusing Ben Affleck for Casey Affleck.

12. Referring to either of your parents as “Playa.”

13. Having fun without first getting permission from at least seven out of ten of your acting local magistrates.

14. High-fiving a stranger.

15. Eating in front of an obviously hungry panda.

16. Driving while gay.

17. Laughing when someone uses the phrase “penal system” in a sentence.

18. Naming your pet after a type of food or famous fictional character.

19. Saying “Homosayswhat” to a client at a business meeting unless it somehow benefits China economically.

20. Living next to an unpolluted river.

(Manolith)