(UniqueDaily)
February 7, 2010
I Don't Quite Understand The List But Whatever . . . . .
Top 20 Things Chinese Citizens Can’t Do
1. Sneezing while making a profit.
2. Mentioning the Dalai Lama without making a face like you just ate something gross.
3. Having an orgasm without shouting “I did this in honor of the People’s Republic!”
4. Walking by a bald eagle without making fun of it.
5. Using the words “People” “Republic” or “China” in any sentence with a sarcastic tone.
6. No extrapolating after 10 pm.
7. Marrying someone whose last name rhymes with your last name.
8. Mentioning how badly “The Spy Next Door” is doing at the box office.
9. Confusing Jet Li with Jackie Chan.
10. Preferring Vanilla to Chocolate.
11. Confusing Ben Affleck for Casey Affleck.
12. Referring to either of your parents as “Playa.”
13. Having fun without first getting permission from at least seven out of ten of your acting local magistrates.
14. High-fiving a stranger.
15. Eating in front of an obviously hungry panda.
16. Driving while gay.
17. Laughing when someone uses the phrase “penal system” in a sentence.
18. Naming your pet after a type of food or famous fictional character.
19. Saying “Homosayswhat” to a client at a business meeting unless it somehow benefits China economically.
20. Living next to an unpolluted river.
(Manolith)
1. Sneezing while making a profit.
2. Mentioning the Dalai Lama without making a face like you just ate something gross.
3. Having an orgasm without shouting “I did this in honor of the People’s Republic!”
4. Walking by a bald eagle without making fun of it.
5. Using the words “People” “Republic” or “China” in any sentence with a sarcastic tone.
6. No extrapolating after 10 pm.
7. Marrying someone whose last name rhymes with your last name.
8. Mentioning how badly “The Spy Next Door” is doing at the box office.
9. Confusing Jet Li with Jackie Chan.
10. Preferring Vanilla to Chocolate.
11. Confusing Ben Affleck for Casey Affleck.
12. Referring to either of your parents as “Playa.”
13. Having fun without first getting permission from at least seven out of ten of your acting local magistrates.
14. High-fiving a stranger.
15. Eating in front of an obviously hungry panda.
16. Driving while gay.
17. Laughing when someone uses the phrase “penal system” in a sentence.
18. Naming your pet after a type of food or famous fictional character.
19. Saying “Homosayswhat” to a client at a business meeting unless it somehow benefits China economically.
20. Living next to an unpolluted river.
(Manolith)
Yes I Do But Its Also Apart Of My Job . . . . .
1 You Speak in Twitter
While out to dinner one night your friend Barry says something that grabs your attention. So you do what all people do in conversation and you say “@Barry, Viagra actually can be used recreationally.” Wrong. It’s not socially acceptable to address people with @. Nor is it okay to share office gossip by saying “Retweet the boss, half of us are getting laid off this month.”
2 You have no attention span
You’re never doing just one thing when you’re online. You’re IM-ing, G-chatting, Facebook stalking, reading blogs, checking e-mail, and googling “where can you play Oregon Trail ‘95 online?” Your attention span is completely shot and you’re operating under the impression that you should only do what interests you. Unfortunately walking out of a business meeting because you heard a weird noise outside does not often lead to long-term employment opportunities.
3 You threw away your TV
Everything you could possibly want to watch on TV is already online. Sure you have to watch 2 hour movies in 16 clips and sure you have to watch Roseanne episodes with Japanese subtitles, but you’re saving tons of money. The problems start when you invite a special someone over to watch a romantic movie and you have to spend the whole date waiting for Nacho Libre to buffer.
4 You have friends you’ve never met in person
What started out as a random Facebook friend request led to a best friendship only seen in the movies where the guy turns out to be an internet predator. Sam is the best friend that you’ve ever had and you’ve stopped talking to everyone else in your life. Problem is that there’s a good chance that Sam is an 11-year-old boy cracking up every time you update him on your top secret Herpes treatment
5 You speak in 3rd person
Your life has turned into a living, breathing status update where you dispense information no one wants. Not only do you constantly talk about yourself, but you no longer use the word “I.” Instead you find yourself more comfortable expressing yourself by saying “Tommy is pretty sure that he isn’t the father of his son.” If only there were a Maury paternity test app on Facebook.
6 You know everything before it happens
You read over 743 blogs a day. You know when a celebrity dies before the celebrity dies and you know the score of the game before the players even step onto the field. Every time a friend sends you a viral video or a fun article, you’ve already seen it. Although you may know everything that’s happening at all times, odds are you don’t know your friends hate you. Start lying to your friends and just for once say “neat” when someone sends you a video of a dog riding a horse.
(Guyism)
Super Mad Props To This Website's Creator . . . . .
Welcome to the Soda Can Library
This library will attempt to list all of the known soda can generations from their inception in 1938 to the last of the steel cans around 1980. Contributions of pictures of missing generations are always welcome. The identification #'s correspond to the ones used in Collectible Soda Cans Pre-zip Code and Zip Code Guides. These #'s are used and further developed with permission by Tom Bates in the Handbook of Soda Cans which was last produced in 1988 and is now out of print.
Website link here
This library will attempt to list all of the known soda can generations from their inception in 1938 to the last of the steel cans around 1980. Contributions of pictures of missing generations are always welcome. The identification #'s correspond to the ones used in Collectible Soda Cans Pre-zip Code and Zip Code Guides. These #'s are used and further developed with permission by Tom Bates in the Handbook of Soda Cans which was last produced in 1988 and is now out of print.
Website link here
Good Luck Getting Through A 6 Pack Of This Stuff . . . . .
German Brewery Blitzes For the World Record With A 40% A.B.V. Beer
"In late December, the German brewery Schorschbrau announced a beer with roughly the same 80-proof booze level as a shot of whiskey. Boasting a powerful A.B.V. of 40%, the high-octane brewski is currently being toasted by connoisseurs as the world's strongest beer. Reviews on RateBeer.com claim that Schorschbrau's "Schorschbock" is "so strong it brings you to tears," despite its sweet, sugary taste. The craft brewery's website declares that the intense beer is brewed in accordance to Germany's historic purity laws, famously known as "Reinheitsgebot". If you're on a quest to score a six-pack for Super Bowl Sunday, good luck; only about forty .33 liter bottles have been produced to date. A bar in Glasglow, Scotland is selling glasses of the potent concoction for about $15. Because quantities of the specialty beer are sparse, customers are limited to one shot."
(BroBible)
"In late December, the German brewery Schorschbrau announced a beer with roughly the same 80-proof booze level as a shot of whiskey. Boasting a powerful A.B.V. of 40%, the high-octane brewski is currently being toasted by connoisseurs as the world's strongest beer. Reviews on RateBeer.com claim that Schorschbrau's "Schorschbock" is "so strong it brings you to tears," despite its sweet, sugary taste. The craft brewery's website declares that the intense beer is brewed in accordance to Germany's historic purity laws, famously known as "Reinheitsgebot". If you're on a quest to score a six-pack for Super Bowl Sunday, good luck; only about forty .33 liter bottles have been produced to date. A bar in Glasglow, Scotland is selling glasses of the potent concoction for about $15. Because quantities of the specialty beer are sparse, customers are limited to one shot."
(BroBible)
A Drinking Game For Your Super Bowl Party . . . . .
T.W.I. – Talking While Intoxicated
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m married . . . . .
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7.. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
(BroBible)
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m married . . . . .
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7.. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
(BroBible)
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